Mine started out with a child who wakes up precisely at 6:30 every morning even though he ran around like crazy at the barbecue last night and went to bed later than usual. So what we have on our hands is a very tired boy who is finding every reason to fuss, whine and scream. And it’s only 8:30!
I feel like I’m getting into the groove now. The last month I’ve felt a bit wobbly. After all, it’s been the ending of one thing and the beginning of another. The upheaval of a lifestyle I’ve been charmed with for a good amount of years. The reconfiguring of my brain to look at life a bit differently. It’s not so much drama, really, just me adjusting. And I have to run through the emotional gamut to do it. I believe I’m coming out of the other end of that swirling, whirling place, and into a life that is indeed different but worth embracing.
I’m dragging photos out of my archives because I haven’t snapped a photo since Sunday. How does that happen? I spent an entire year documenting my life, camera poised and ready for 365 days. Now I can hardly remember I have a camera. Is it summer? Is it my addled brain? Is it that my child steadfastly refuses to look at the camera 99% of the time?
Bah. This week wasn’t at all what I wanted it to be. I wanted to relax and take some time for myself. Instead I had endless appointments and lines to wait in. I know. Complaining doesn’t help. It’s just that I feel like a little black cloud has been following me around and I can’t seem to dislodge it.
I did enjoy, however, the time spent with my son today at the beach. We stood strong and helpless with laughter in the face of endless waves, we buried him up to his little belly in sand, and we watched kites sketching about in a vivid blue sky filled with puffy clouds. So instead of all the rest of the junk, I’m going to focus on that as I snuggle into bed tonight.
I need to look at things as positively as possible today. I’m a person who likes to plan a day and flit right through it. When things shift or abruptly bottom out, I do not like it Sam I Am.
My plans for today were: 1) Go to the social security office and get Dev’s social security card updated into his American name (yet another hassle the government throws at adoptive parents); 2) Have lunch with my new boss; 3) Leave town to visit my mom for a couple of days.
You could probably guess that item #1 wasn’t the breeze I wanted it to be. Even when I made every attempt to be thorough. I downloaded the form, completed it, then collected all of the supporting documents I thought I’d need. Then I waited in line for more than an hour. Only to find out we never received a specific document from the courthouse, which was, of course, required to complete my transaction. Urgh.
Item #2? That one worked out fine.
And then there’s item #3. Not a minor one since it involved some packing and some driving and the expectation from my mom that I was going to be spending some time with her. That trip was by the message on my voicemail when I returned from my frustration in item #1: a call from the dentist’s office reminding me of my appointment tomorrow morning. Nice. I hate scheduling those things six months out and then forgetting I have one until the day before. So trip to visit my mom? Canceled.
Tomorrow is my last day working with my biggest client. I’ve had a steady 20-hour gig with them for the past six years, plus a year before that where I worked on several projects. So seven. Seven. That’s the longest I’ve worked anywhere during my career, and I wasn’t even an employee!
Even though I’m very ready to leave, today was kind of sad. My good friends organized a going-away lunch and many people came along to say goodbye. (Or as Dan likes to say, “See ya later!” Because, truthfully, I have every intention of staying in touch.) It’s amazing how that many years with people can create some pretty strong bonds. Many people are going to be off-site tomorrow, so I had to try not to cry when I hugged Dan on my way out. He’s been my cohort for so long now. I swear I’m not going to know what to do without him!
I have one more day of goodbyes. Amy and I are going to go to lunch and hang out and just chat tomorrow since it’s going to be the last day we’ll be able to do that. Ever. We’ll see each other outside of work now and again, I know, but our daily chatting and sharing kid stories is ending. Sigh. With the good, comes the bad. And I’m absolutely excited about my new job. It’s just always slightly bittersweet when change sweeps through your life.
See this photo?
It’s important for two reasons.
1. It proves that I attended a tractor show. That in itself is a near miracle. So it had to be documented. (OK. I’ll admit that I did attend one when I was a teenager, but I wasn’t thinking straight back then.) I reveled in the glory of the tractors, yes, but also in the sight of so many little old men (LOMs, to be precise) walking around in tractor awe. It was quite a good thing, too, that I didn’t have much cash on hand or my kid would be sporting a John Deere cap. And that would be putting him one step closer to a Nascar cap. No, no, no, no, no!
2. This photo was on a card that I formatted before downloading the photos to my computer. Which means it was blasted into oblivion, never to be found again. Except! That a wave of brilliance rained down upon me and I figured out how to download software to fix the problem. Software that would run only in Terminal on my Mac. And I have zero clue of how to use Terminal. Yet here it is, right before your eyes. Which means? I rocked Terminal. I found those invisible files and extracted them and got them back. Yessiree! Can you feel the pride emanating from the computer screen?