Inside of me

During the Great Strides Walk this weekend

A very nice person (he knows who he is) made a comment recently about my photos. He said that he learns things from my photography. I was flattered, yes, but a bit surprised too. I spend a lot of time being self-critical and sometimes I can’t step outside of that. I see photos from others, professionals many of them, and I want to be able to achieve what they’ve taken years to learn. Some magic trick of lighting. Or a way with focus that I just can’t pull off. So I always feel that I’m reaching for something that I can’t ever grab onto.

When I spend my time looking at what I haven’t achieved, I very often don’t notice what I have. Whether it’s photography, gardening, fitness or parenthood. Anything. I look so far ahead of myself that I can’t see what’s in front of me.

I think that tendency, combined with some other things certainly, may be contributing to my melancholy lately. I’ve always believed in the adage that you should live in the moment and enjoy what you have. Yet it seems to be a big mountain to climb for me to get to that state of mind.

Just a little online self-evaluation. No point, really. Maybe just in the fact that if I’ve gotten it out of my head and onto “paper”, it could possibly be something I strive to work on a bit. I truly believe that we all, every one of us, could benefit from a little introspection from time to time.