Happy new year!

My mom bought me a necklace for Christmas, a gift I selected on my own. One portion has Chinese characters. The other has the English translation: Happiness.

I chose that necklace because I thought it might remind me of what’s important. My own happiness. I lose that sometimes. I lose it in the small things, like worrying. Usually about things I can’t even control.

Like the guy who tailed me down Boston today. Or the woman who stood behind me in line for coffee yesterday, hovering mere milimeters from my back with her purse jabbing me in the hip. Or the guy at work who has his cell phone set to some ridiculous tune, which wouldn’t be a big deal if it didn’t go off every 15 minutes.

I waste a lot of energy on sweating the proverbial small stuff. I also send my blood pressure sky-rocketing in those instances. Or at least I imagine I do.

I’d like to find a little peace with myself. To become comfortable with me. To get to the point where losing the manual for my camera doesn’t freak me out and have me ripping apart every drawer in my office. That would be happiness, I tell ya.

Where, oh where, does that calming, relaxing center of my being reside? It’s in there somewhere. Finding it isn’t my new year’s resolution. It’s my life’s ambition. But if I find it in 2006, it’ll be my best year yet!

3 thoughts on “Happy new year!”

  1. Happy New Year!

    I think you’d wonder to find out how many people actually feel the same like you do. Annoyed by all those small unnecessary encounters, that could be prevented so easily if we just all would be a little more careful.

    In regards of you manual problem, you might want to have a look over here:


    I hope you had the chance to spend a few slow and relaxing days between the years and I wish you and your whole family all the best for ’06.

  2. i sweat the small stuff, too, and chastise myself for doing it, but am much better in (slightly) larger moments of stress ( i suspect that you are, too…). my daughter was astounded, last march, when our washing machine overflowed and water coursed down two flights of stairs, that i stayed so calm: i usually have a conniption at a stuck zipper. 🙂
    your examples would have me in the same state, lori..infringements of personal space can ruin my day, too.

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