See this adorable child?

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He’s devious, I tell ya!

The sleep. The sleep. The sleep.

Or the lack thereof.

He’s been on a major “I have no intention of going to bed before 10:30” kick. And it’s becoming a bit tiresome. This attitude also includes shirking the responsibility of a nap. Does he not know that sleep is a wonderful mechanism that our body uses to rejuvenate itself? Does he not understand how addled one can be the next day when one tries to run around on an empty tank? Or is it just that he’s a child who doesn’t need much sleep?

I have no idea.

But the battle lines have been drawn. After a lecture from my husband the other night regarding answering his every entreaty (which I have indeed begun to do since they seemed so innocuous…potty, water, blankets, please take this toy out of my room, please turn off my Nemo light, please find my penguin, blankets, blinds are open!, blankets, potty again), the decision’s been made to ignore his requests in the same way we had to his screams when he was younger.

Of course this battle is being waged on the day Scott left for Boston for work. So it’s just me against the kid. And that kid has some serious ammunition. It’s called cuteness and it kills me.

Here’s what he’ll do. He calls for me: “Mommy!” Usually I would say, “What, Devin?” Then he would proceed to hand me a toy that’s in his room and ask me to remove it. Tonight I ignored him. (I warned him ahead of time that I would so I’m not THAT big of a jerk.) An example:

Mommy?
Mommy?
Moooomyyyyy?
MOMMY!
MOMMMMMMYYYY!
Mommy, where are you?
Mommy, I have something for you!
Mommy, come take my thing!!
Mommy? Why you not taking it?
Mommy, it for you. This one for Devin and this one for you.
Mommy. I. Have. Your. Thing!!!!
Mommy, why you not coming?
Lori, can you come take it, please?

Seriously. This really happened. And he called me Lori. I’m downstairs in the living room, dying of both laughter and sadness. Because it is so, so hard to ignore your kid when he’s desperately wanting to give you the Thing. A gift from his three-year-old heart. (Which, I discovered later, was an orange VW bug that he hurled over the gate when he realized I was not coming.)

I guess I won the battle. I didn’t have to go up and down the stairs thirty times tonight. And he went to bed closer to 9:30 than 10:30. But war is indeed hell. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

6 thoughts on “See this adorable child?”

  1. Awwww 🙁

    It was also hilarious. I can’t believe he whipped out your first name. It’s amazing how crafty they can be : )

  2. The Beaner calls me Lori sometimes, too — and we’ve also been having battles lately, though none as bad as this. Usually I snuggle him to sleep, and if he ignores my assertions that “it’s time for sleeping”, I threaten to leave. The other night, after two threats, I just got up and walked out without saying a word. Five minutes (of silence) later, I hear him get up and creep to the door. He opens it slowly, peeks out, closes it. Opens again, peeks again, then sticks his whole head out. Seeing nobody (why he didn’t think to look three feet to his left, where I was sitting, I don’t know), he starts to tiptoe out of his room. That’s when I busted out laughing. Five minutes of snuggling later, he was asleep.

  3. Oh my goodness…I can SO relate. Betsy refused to nap today…screamed for 20 minutes (Mama, mama, I need you mama!) When I finally went in to check on her because I thought she might have climbed out of her crib (I heard a big thump) she immediately stopped crying and said cheerfully, “Hi-ya, Mama!” She did have a large poo in her diaper, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but then it was whining and clinging and driving me nuts all evening. And Myron was trying to leave to head to Cincinnati on business tonight. In the middle of trying to fry pork chops with a screaming child hanging on my leg Myron came in and said, “I need to get out of here! (meaning he needed to get on the road)” I burst into tears and said, “So do I! (meaning I needed to escape!)” How in the world do single mothers survive?!

  4. You and I must be living in the same house.:)
    If M wasn’t so cute, I have no clue what I would do with two hours of chatty awake time every night lately.
    The lovely part is she does it knowing it gets us, smiles when you peek your head in and says “Love you, mommy.”
    …for two hours.

  5. Thanks, ladies! I love hearing your own stories. Kiddos can be simultaneously funny and frustrating, can’t they?

    Serena, it cracked me up! Kid logic: If “Mommy” doesn’t work, surely she’ll respond to her very own name. 🙂

    Lori, I’m so glad the Beaner is cooperative. I miss those days with Devin, but I’m sure this new phase is one that I’ll come to appreciate on some level. Right??

    Molly, oh girl! I’ve had that same thought before. And the truth is, you ARE a single mom a lot of the time. Business trips and all. Some days are just so much harder, eh? Please feel free to call me if you ever want to blow off some steam. Devin would be happy to entertain Miss Betsy.

    Robin, I heartily agree about the cute part. If they weren’t so sweet and cute… 🙂 They sure do know how to push buttons, don’t they?

  6. Oh, yes, this will continue for years, be forwarned….my aunt and uncle said they used to let my cousin put THEM to bed because she just – would – not – sleep! Finally they got a dog, which slept with her, and a cure was found!

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