I’m dragging photos out of my archives because I haven’t snapped a photo since Sunday. How does that happen? I spent an entire year documenting my life, camera poised and ready for 365 days. Now I can hardly remember I have a camera. Is it summer? Is it my addled brain? Is it that my child steadfastly refuses to look at the camera 99% of the time?
Bah. This week wasn’t at all what I wanted it to be. I wanted to relax and take some time for myself. Instead I had endless appointments and lines to wait in. I know. Complaining doesn’t help. It’s just that I feel like a little black cloud has been following me around and I can’t seem to dislodge it.
I did enjoy, however, the time spent with my son today at the beach. We stood strong and helpless with laughter in the face of endless waves, we buried him up to his little belly in sand, and we watched kites sketching about in a vivid blue sky filled with puffy clouds. So instead of all the rest of the junk, I’m going to focus on that as I snuggle into bed tonight.
Summer nights, as anyone who’s kept up with my posts might know, offer the moments I look forward to. Sitting outside in the fresh air, perched on a fairly comfortable deck chair, watching the sun slowly moving to the other side of the world. (Yes, I know we’re the ones moving, but still.) Often with a refreshing drink and some nice conversation with my husband. Other times solo with a good read.
The only problem with this scenario lately is that my charmingly adorable child doesn’t like to go to bed. He thinks sleep is for wussies. Often, by the time he’s all tuckered out, the sun is no longer in view. Boo. Last night, though, my husband volunteered for kid watch and encouraged me to pour a glass of wine and sit on the deck for some quiet time.
One day I hope to enjoy these moments with Dev too. When he can savor some relaxing moments. We can sit and chat and take in the summer noises: the cicadas whirring away, the neighbor’s sprinkler, the sound of kids who get to stay up a bit later chasing each other giddily through their backyards. Until then, I’ll just wish for him to fall asleep at the appointed 8:00 hour. Wishes can come true at least once a week, yes?