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March 19
Tipping the scales
Tipping the scales
I can NOT believe how much of a blogging slacker I've been lately.
To be honest, I'm trying to prioritize and sometimes jotting down my random, meaningless thoughts just can't be a priority. Sadly enough. Because I rather relish my inane chatter on this website.
I'm struggling to find balance. Mentally. I truly believe I need a vacation. A relaxing one. Possibly not the one I'm going to get next month in sunny Florida with my in-laws. But maybe I can have a more optimistic outlook and just force myself to make it into the vacation I really want it to be. As the Little Engine Who Could would say, "I think I can, I think I can."
Tomorrow I will dial my doctor's office and make an appointment. I'm going to talk to her about my increasing frustration, my decreasing patience, and my tendency to prefer crawling into bed and hiding over other activties.
Well, it's not quite that horrible. But I don't have a grip. And I think everyone could use at least one pinky's worth of grip, don't you? So maybe there's some potion or pill she can throw my way that I can imbibe to take the edge off. Something that will ease away the feeling that my entire house is about to come crumbling down upon me, filled with unpainted window frames, cracked kitchen-floor grout, stacks of magazines, over-stuffed closets, unsorted photos, and all the other crap that keeps me awake at night.
And don't get me started on my recent insecurities regarding parenting. Ay-yi-yi!
If nothing else, I want her to tell me how to get my IBS under control. My stomach is killing me. You know it's bad when you're in a meeting and you're trying not to double over with the pain. Because who wants to explain this annoying condition to anyone who asks? The "b" stands for bowel, you know.
So, yeah, I think I've been posting less because who wants to hear me complain all the time?
Still, life is good. Even when it's unbalanced. I have a beautifully sweet and funny kid, a mostly understanding and always caring husband, a mom who takes my freak-out calls in stride, and some pretty darn good friends and family, who I appreciate even through I oftentimes fail to make a phone call or send an email. And that's what matters.
Posted on March 19, 2007 09:31 PMComments
I so very much understand the need to have a grip.
Some days, I feel like my life is just going on around me while I stand there watching the swirl. Especially this winter, I thought my life as I knew it would surely disappear.
You are a wonderful mom, Lori. All of us have major challenges with our kids. Mhari and I literally had to leave our basket right in the middle of the store and walk out today when she freaked out over a ball she couldn't have and started wind mill slapping me.
My beautiful, loving little girl turned psycho hitting fool.
I had no idea how to handle it. Some days I swear I'm just too junior at all of this to be any good to her at all.
But, then we all are. Moving through it all never seems to be as pretty or graceful as the super moms who just don't tell us about the foolishness that went down at their house:) You are an amazing woman. No selling yourself short.
And, Spring is surely springing soon.
I know we could all use a heavy dose of sunshine, color and warmth.
Posted by: Robin at March 20, 2007 01:24 AMIt's good that you want to run those things past your doctor. You never know what advice they might give, and the wonders of what any solutions might bring about. I constantly self-analyze and pretend to find my own solutions, but am always shocked when others (doctors) tell me what the actual reasons and solutions are.
Posted by: Patrick at March 20, 2007 12:57 PMi'LL BET YOU A MINT MOCHA THE DOC WILL PUT YOU ON fLUOXITINE!
Posted by: patti at March 20, 2007 03:53 PM